HIJAB AND MARRIAGE

“Our lingering problem, however, was the difference in how religious we each were; he hadn’t planned on marrying someone who wore the traditional head scarf, my hijab. His ideal woman was less strict, more secular. He wasn’t comfortable with people who wore their belief on their sleeves, or in my case, on my head...

To me, the scarf is more than a piece of fabric — it’s a way of life. Winter sales become summer fashions, providing the long, loose and layered look we can’t find in warmer months. Drab department store dressing rooms turn into prayer sanctuaries. Friday nights are for movies and restaurants, not drinking and going clubbing. On my wedding night, going topless would mean unpinning my scarf and letting it fall down.

In order to get him over his hesitation, I planned our dates to take place in very public places. We played miniature golf, ate out at restaurants and went blueberry picking. I looked at his objection as a challenge, a project. I wanted to convince him that even though I did stand out with my hijab, it didn’t matter because no one really took notice of the scarf after the first glance.

And I had my own doubts, though I was afraid to admit them: namely, why should I push forward with this when we weren’t aligned in terms of our faith? How could we be a good match if he didn’t approve of my hijab? Would I have to change? Should I?.....”
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Posted in: american muslims,marriage,new york times article,saba ali